Update on updates and schedule

So, friends, as I knew it might, the time has come to change my update schedule. Doing the daily posts have become more of a chore than a joy, something I never wanted to happen. The fact that I feel I am letting my readers down pains me more when I miss updates & is making me understand that I have put a lot of pressure on myself & on this blog. So, the time for change has arrived. Below are some questions that I anticipate you asking & the answers to them. If you have more questions, comment here & I will try & answer them, as well as add them to the list below.

When will you post new blogs?

I intend to post new blogs quite frequently, probably a minimum of twice a week. Essentially, though, I intend to post whenever I have something to talk about or something I feel I need to share. Before, I struggled for ideas, so now I will post when the ideas come naturally.

What time of day will you post?

Most likely in the evenings, as I can then more accurately write about the day I have had or the days to come. I may do some morning posts again, but expect to read my posts in the evenings.

How can I know when you’ve posted something new?

Why, by following my blog, of course! You can follow my blog by clicking a little button on this page that will basically subscribe you to my blog. You can then get e-mails or other notifications whenever I post something new. 

Will you still do daily posts sometimes?

Yes! This week, with my Youth 2015 event, I will likely be doing daily wrap-up posts. I also intend to do more daily postings once school starts again, as I will have returned to a normal schedule where I can plan to blog. I’ll also be busier, so I should have more to talk about.

Will you be changing what you blog about?

No! I will still blog about my life, ministry, or whatever moods/situations I feel should be shared. Part of why I’m cutting back on my schedule is because I do not want to just blog about random things in order to fill a post quota, so to speak.

Do you need ideas on what to write about?

Sure! I could always use ideas. What do you want to see me talk about? What are some ideas that you have blogged about which I could weign in on? Feel free to send me ideas and I can try and put my own unique perspective on them

Do you need/want guest posts?

I have never done guest posts, but I’m certainly not opposed to the idea. If you think you’d like to write a guest post for this blog, comment below. I have seen other guest posts on my friend’s blogs & they are always rather interesting to read, so I’d be fine with trying that out for my blog.
Do you have any other questions which I haven’t answered? Any suggestions that helped you when you got into a blogging slump, as it were? Please share them with me, as this blog is just as much for all of you as it is for me.

Annual Conference: Day 4 (Final)

The day has come & gone. Another Annual Conference has ended, yet our work is far from done. We got through all of our legislation process, but now begins the arduous task of carrying out the legislation. One such motion includes closing some of our camps & restructuring our camping programs, which was a heartbreaking, yet necessary move for us to make. We parted with old friends as well as new, watched people take on new challenges in ministry, & carried out our tasks & our charges as laity & clergy alike.

As with all of my posts this week, I’ll try not drag or carry on. There’s so much I could say, be it about individual legislative items, worship services, or even just the overwhelming amount of love & support I felt that I received during this conference in particular. I could also talk about the amazing display of books from Cokesbury that I surveyed every free moment I could manage, happy to have purchased some books that I will likely use in both seminary & ministry in general. However, as at the end of every conference, I have far too many experiences, stories, & moments to share in such a limited space or to do them adequate justice.

Though I will miss many of my friends & colleagues, some of whom I most likely will not physically see again until next year, I am also glad to be home. I have crawled into bed with an equally tired spouse & a purring kitten on my lap. I am grateful for the friends who watched our home & our cat this week, as well as the friends & family who watched over us at conference as we prayed together, worked together, & felt so many emotions together. We return to our “normal” lives, changed in many ways by our interactions this week. Above all, I am glad we were able to carry out God’s will in whatever work we did & whatever we continue to do from this point onward.

Blessings to all as you carry out your own work in the world every day.

Annual Conference: Day 3

I am going to be honest with all of you, readers; I did not want to write this blog tonight. Today was a day of hurt feelings, acts of both sorrow & repentance, & conversations which became debates which were fueled by passion & anger. I shook in my seat, I was brought to tears, & at times, I felt physically ill & emotionally done. I even had a moment of weakness where I angrily declared that I was “finished” to my spouse & others & fumed out of the room once we were in recess. 

It was not an easy day. But when hearts are on fire, topics are both passion-filled & controversial, & persons come with full conviction to a microphone, it is not meant to be easy. A friend remarked that they wish they could stand at a microphone & make remarks at their conference as much as I did today. I responded that I wished I did not feel compelled to speak so often today, as I was fueled by confusion, anger, & heartache, for a variety of reasons.

More heated than the issues of camping ministries for me, was a petition that was before us to send to General Conference. Though I don’t wish to speak on the petition itself (as it did not pass our conference anyway), I want to speak to what I observed. I watched people vehemently defend their faith against one another. I witnessed scripture being used as a weapon. I watched people’s faces fall as their cries to speak & to have voice went unheard. Perhaps worst of all, I sat beside one of my youth who scribbled furiously on the back of an attention card, filled with the Spirit & desperate to speak. The youth raised the card high, seated directly in front of the Bishop, yet, by way of procedure & policy, was not heard before we were called upon to take our vote. The youth, whom had been so nervous & inspired to speak, visibly fell, hurt & disheartened that their voice was not heard in the midst of organized chaos. While I extended an offer to take the words of that youth with me to General Conference, as no doubt their words will be applicable to similar motions which did make it through other Annual Conferences, it did nothing to erase the disappointment from my heart, as I knew that youth had lost a spark today.

As difficult as this day was, there is still work to be done. I will be rising bright & early to pack, as well as meeting with my fellow General & Jurisdictional conference delegates to get preliminary instructions. We still have legislation to vote on, reports to be heard, & appointments to be fixed. Though there is pain this night, I do believe that joy will, that it must, come in the morning.

Annual Conference: Day 2

Today’s Annual Conference was full of moments of joy, heartache, hurting, healing, & growth. We tackled a lot of controversial & “hot-button” issues today, which left me with some tension & concern for our conversations yet to come. Overall, while I am glad the day is done, I feel as though I have more questions than answers.

Among other reports & legislation, one of the toughest issues today was around the ministry of camping. After much discernment & deliberation, the conference Committee on camping & retreat ministries presented a proposal to retire three of our campsites out of five which we currently operate. This decision came with heavy hearts, but was bathed in prayer & Holy conversation. Still, with the primary motion as well as items which were created in reaction to it, there were a few harsh statements & hurtful words being bandied about at one another. It was hard & disheartening to watch, hear, & be a part of at times. While no conclusion was reached today on the main motion, we did accomplish some related agenda & will be continuing the discussion tomorrow, where I pray cooler & calmer heads take hold.

As today was quite long & arduous, I don’t have the energy to recall all of the other events which unfolded. I did, however, have some wonderful conversations with our youth. We talked about camps, LGBT issues & concerns, the alleged “schism” which faces our denomination &, on a lighter note, what movies should be truer to their book counterparts. We laughed, showed passion, & had true & honest conversation, something which I do not often see in my own congregation. It was refreshing to see the youth sharing their voices & just being themselves, without the pressure to support certain opinions or ideas except their own.

Annual Conference: Day 1

Today was the first day of our Annual Conference. For the uninitiated, United Methodists take part in conferencing and the Illinois Great Rivers Annual Conference session is this week in Peoria, Illinois. This was the first day & it was a long one, as we not only started our conference session early, but we were tasked with electing delegates to general and jurisdictional conference for 2016. 

I am both pleased & excited to announce that I was elected to General Conference as a lay delegate. This was my first year running, so being elected was such a shock, but one I am so grateful for. I cannot wait to be a part of the decision-making, prayerful considerations, & just conferencing with other United Methodists on a global scale.

I was also pleased to address the laity session about youth ministries in our conference. As chair of the Conference Committee on Youth Ministries, I was able to share a potential vision & path forward for youth in our conference. Likewise, I am glad to be able to sit with and be a mentor to our Annual Conference youth. My goal is to keep them in connection with not just other youth, but introduce them and make connections to other persons throughout the conference.

Another joy of the evening was our service of worship and Holy Communion. Hearing our Bishop, who is retiring as of September of 2016, preach is always so exciting. One of my favorite quotes from his message this evening was “God did not give up on you, therefore, you cannot give up on God.” His message was on not losing our heart, which is a wonderful message & a necessary one, especially when we will be entering into some very difficult decisions & discussions this week.

I am pleased to take part in Annual Conference, to sit with & help our youth to learn, to share & connect with other United Methodists & to just be with God & one another in one place.

Another Day, Another Dollar

In this electronic age, I am one of those persons who seldom carries cash on me. I have a debit card & a credit card (because I needed to build up credit, especially once I had to take out student loans). At school, much of what I pay for is either on my debit card or my student account, which is essentially a meal plan that we put so much money into at the beginning of the semester. My substitute teaching checks go straight to the bank, as do any checks I get from family around the holidays, so I seldom have actual, physical dollar bills in my hands. Quite honestly, the only thing that I typically find myself needing cash for is garage sales & even they’ll take checks depending on the seller & what it is that I’m purchasing.

Cash is king, in some places, however. Casinos, flea markets, & pawn shops are a few places which come to mind who prefer to deal in cold, hard cash. Oddly enough, though, cash is not really worth much if you think about it. It costs more to mint or print some physical money than the monetary value we place upon the currency (I’m looking at you, worthless penny!). Money has value because we treat it as though it has value. If I pick up a leaf & someone says, “Hey, I’ll give you a candy bar for that leaf,” then my leaf suddenly has value when it otherwise had none, apart from perhaps being colorful. It always surprises me how we determine the worth of some items & that we ascribe certain things of being “of more worth” than others. Like a flat screen TV can be worth more than a car, depending on a number of variables. Worth, money, value, & the buying and selling of goods are all created things, but things to which we have gone to war over. 

• To what do you ascribe worth?
• Do you find yourself dealing in cash or electronic money, like debit or credit?
• What do you buy on a regular basis?
• What determines the value of an item in your mind?

Late Nights

I have noticed that my posting has moved times more recently. Instead of posting first thing in the morning, I find myself posting late at night. This is partly because I’m staying up later now that it’s summer. It is also because I find that I haven’t had as much to say at the beginning of the day as I do towards the end of it.

Staying up late is something I did far more often when I was a kid. Particularly in my teenage years, I could stay up until two or three in the morning & still be in a good mood when I woke up at seven or eight. I actually also had boughts of insomnia (curse you, anxiety) that sometimes made it impossible to sleep. Even if I conquered that anxiousness, I’d rarely sleep soundly. It got to the point where my doctor suggested I take supplements or over-the-counter sleep aids to try and actually get a decent night of sleep. I’m also sure that my diets of caffeine didn’t help matters much, either.

Regardless, my sleep schedule is a little less hectic nowadays. I go to bed by about midnight & am usually getting up around seven or eight still, depending on the day. I try to not be on my phone much before bed, current moments not included. I also attempt to not eat or drink too close to bedtime, as my schedule is not interrupted then by having to use the bathroom or having a nightmare from some late-night snacking, which I am told is a thing that occurs sometimes. I do sleep with Sleepphones & a sound machine app, which helps me sleep fairly soundly, especially since my spouse snores. When I do find myself unable to sleep, I tend to get up & watch something on TV for a bit or read until I am tired again, or try to be a bit more productive.

• How late do you stay up most nights?
• How do you spend your late nights?
• Are you a night owl or an early bird?
• How well do you sleep?

It’s All a Process

As many of you know by now, I am in the candidacy process for ordained ministry in the United Methodist church. Not only is this a long process for many people, it is simply that, a process. Not everyone wants to go through it and many people complain throughout it, myself included, but it is a process that all persons in ministry in our denomination have gone through.

For many things in life, there is a process, an order to things. The old adage of “grow-up, get a job, get married, have kids” is simply one example. For jobs, the process is to apply, demonstrate your applicable skills through an application & interviews, & either get hired or repeat the first two steps with a new job. For the career of ministry, the process is similar, but more extensive.

For starters, ministry is not “a job”. Ministry is a calling, a passion, & a life. As I said, it certainly is not for everyone. For those who have been called, who feel that passion & pull from God to be in ministry, the first steps seem less daunting. To explain your call, to explore your passion with other people, is sometimes the easiest part. For others, it can feel invasive, to have to defend your call from God into a lifelong ministry. After this, after baring your soul & your self on multiple occasions, the steps of educational requirements or meetings with mentors do not seem as harrowing.

As I stated & have heard stated by so many others, candidacy is a process. There is an order, a beginning and an end, & there are many steps in between that can take years to complete properly. But the end, the reward is worth all of it. As someone who is still in this process, I know that once I am through it, I will look back on those steps & recognize the significance of the journey.

The journey, that process, is necessary to see who you were, who you are, & who you are to become. All of this occurs while serving God & living out your call. It may not be for everyone & it may not make sense to everyone, but for those in ministry, that process, the journey, matters so greatly. Not matter how tough, we get through it & are grateful for the experience.

• What is a difficult journey that you have taken in life?
• What processes are confusing, but more sense after you completed them?
• What are some questions you want answered about the candidacy process?

Just Keep Swimming

To start with, I am not a big swimmer. I enjoy floating around on an innertube at waterparks, but swimming is just not my cup of tea. I can swim to save my life, but that’s about it. My husband, on the other hand, is an excellent swimmer, while I can just manage to keep my head above water.

As in many situations in life, keeping your head above water is an excellent skill to have. For me, it isn’t just literal, so much as keeping on top of things, like my schoolwork, candidacy requirements, and just personal appointments. One of my favorite quotes from the movie, Finding Nemo, is Dory’s line, “Just keep swimming.” No matter how difficult the situation gets or how insurmountable an obstacle seems, they just keep pressing onward. The motto of “just keep swimming” is all about the importance of perserverance, knowing that there is a light at the end of whatever tunnel of difficulty and darkness you find yourself in.

Finding myself fighting off illness, as well as planning for other events like my candidacy training and Annual Conference, this motto is quite relevant to me. I am sometimes struggling to keep my head above water, while other times floating gently along a lazy river. It may be difficult, stressful, and tiring, but I always remind myself to keep swimming, to keep going strong and steady towards my goals.

• Be it actually swimming or metaphorically, do you find it difficult to keep moving forward at times? 
• Are there insurmountable obstacles on your path towards whatever future you enviosion for yourself, for your family? 
• Do you find it easier to overcome obstacles alone or with the help of others?
• What is a motivational quote that keeps you pressing onward?
• How do you motivate yourself to keep going, regardless of the situation?

Inspiration

What inspires you?

I noticed this question posed by a fellow blogger (A Litte Daydreamer) recently. Oddly enough, it was a day when I was struggling to find inspiration for a blog post myself. Nothing had really struck me or seemed worth writing about.

This happens a fair amount to me. It isn’t so much that I am uninspired, but rather, the things that spark my interest are something that I’ve already written about. I realize too that not everybody would be interested in reading about every small thing which I am interested in, though some might.

I know that I am inspired by the wonders of nature, loving and caring acts of people, & the commitment of my spouse to ministry, just to name a few examples. So much in life can offer us inspiration. We just need to be open to those ideas & examples.

• So, what does inspire you?
• Where do you find inspiration?
• Are there recent events or actions which have inspired you to act in some way?
• How have you been an inspiration to others?